Big Think

I lead a silly life at the moment. I live on a farming estate surrounded by bison men you see....

When i'm here I can get on with my own thing, do a painting, a dancey in the kitchen, chat with the cat and what not. But when I'm here, i want not to be here! I want to be dancing with beautiful people, laughing with folk about stupid noises, at a gig wiggling to musics or being tipsy chatting poo to some one who understands poo!! I want to be pushed around in a trolley like the good old days. Care free and boozed up!

But when i'm NOT here, I want to be here!! I feel a bit lost with out all my things. I don't know what to take with me when I leave here because I don't know how long i'll be away for. I want to be a snail so I can carry all my paint on my back. I know i need to move out, closer to where there's work..... but i need enough work fiirst.
                           I've been thinking about uni again. But I don't think                     it's the right time to.

I neeeeeed to need to learn to drive. It'll open up so many avenues and pathways that I can stride down merrily. I need some courage and lots of lots of cash! I want something to drive to before I learn to drive though. That's why i've been thinking about Uniiiiii. If i 'm honest i do want a degree in something. I want to have something that other people want. If some one says "please could you do me an album cover" I want to be able to go "WELL YES!! let me just pop onto my apple mac and mash something up from this painting and this photo on photoshop and shazam! there you go" instead of my usual "mmmmmmmmmaybe what were you thinking cos i've got nothing"...... I want to be a whizz kid. Computers MESS with my mind though. I bummed out of two different degrees. One year of fine art and half a mash of illustration. I need to start clean over again at something and do it right properly. Concentrate my fullest, don't get distracted by pretty boys (oh but but but BUT!!) and learn learn learn!! driving will help.HONEST.

              How's the art going?? considering it's the bane of my life and the whole reason i'd consider doing uni again, s'okay. Been trying different things. I have a tonnnnnnn of art books i've never read.

 I need to get my beady eye on them, chat with other arty folk. I wish there was some kind of arty community meeting place of paint around here. Maybe I should pull my finger out and try and organise one!!!! There's doodleplanet in chester, but it always eludes me, i never know when it is!!!!! I need inspiring.  like looking at this ladies work  Music inspires me, people and noises, places and sounds. I get sooooo inspired but it fizzles out really quick because I'm not always in the right place!! I carry so many notebooks around, its mad.

What I need is a big old think, a chat with some friends and plenty of dancing. Until then, I shall let the old imagination go mad.